Dear Americans, Stop Pretending You Don't Know What I Mean When I Ask for the Washroom

Dear Americans,

As you know, I love coming to visit you. I love our weekends together, like this last one in Washington State. We've been hanging out since I was a kid, when we regularly spent our summers together. You always know how to have fun. Your home is beautiful. And your stories are hilarious. 

But we have a problem. Sometimes it's difficult to communicate with you, like when I ask for directions to the washroom and you pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. 

"Washroom?" you ask. "What do you mean 'washroom'? What are you going to do in therewash?"

As a matter of fact, I was planning on it.

"Do you mean the bathroom?" you ask.

Well, no, as I wasn't planning on bathing in there. Nor was I planning on resting in the room you insist on calling the restroom. 

You know what I mean when I ask for the washroom, so why do you have to pretend you don't? 

In truth, though, maybe we're both playing a game. Maybe we should just say what we really want, even though it's hard to just come right out and say it. What am I really looking for when I ask for the washroom? And what do you really mean when you say the bathroom or the restroom?

The toilet. 

There it is, I said it. Our friends in Europe say it. Our friends in Asia say it, too. Maybe we could, too.

See you again soon, Americans.